I’m Too Old and Tired to Deal with Bad Nights (Review: DiAnoia’s Eatery)

7 April 2024

Although I did have a bit of a hangover after that delicious and fun night at Parlor Dim Sum, I had a busy Sunday in and around Pittsburgh. Sunny and warm, a perfect day. I rolled into my hotel mid-afternoon and dealt with some trip logistics for tomorrow early in the morning. I need to stop doing these Monday early AM flights…

But I was looking forward to a good dinner tonight at the very highly-rated DiAnoia’s Eatery. I first had to return my car to the airport, which was all good, but the crazy prices on rideshare into town. $80 on Lyft, really? I luckily found something a bit less on Uber, but this is ridiculous.

We rolled into the city and I walked into DiAnoia’s on a busy Sunday night. It was still hopping, and they squeezed me into a bar seat. I’m hoping it will go as well as last night! A cocktail in hand and I looked over the menu and ordered. I relaxed and some bread came out.

Not bad to fill my stomach with this cocktail. Soon after my starter came, carciofi.

These artichokes were excellent, wonderful texture and flavour, yum! I’m quite excited for this dinner now…but where is it? I shifted to a nice wine and kept waiting. And waiting… At about the half hour point I was starting to get annoyed, then I noticed they tried to deliver some food to the wrong people…

That’s my food. But wait, why two plates?

They brought my primo and secondo out at the same time. You gotta be kidding me. So they took the secondo back. And when I looked at the primo, my pasta dish, my heart sank. I thought this place was supposed to be good with Italian food?

They clearly messed up somewhere because this cacio e pepe is more like a soup. What a mess. They took a half hour to make something that most Italian restaurants would be horrified to bring out?

Look at this, it’s like I’m eating soup noodles or ramen or something.

This is how much liquid was left over afterwards. They should have called this cacio e pepe con acqua.

And when they brought my secondo out, the server just spilled the jus all over the place with no care in the world. Seriously, really?

As you can see the plate is flooded with the jus, a total soggy mess. This is their take on porchetta. Fine, but frankly this probably sat under the heat lamp because they screwed up the pasta and order, so it was really meh. I ended up pairing this with a grappa because I lost my appetite and want to forget about this evening.

Now the staff have made themselves scarce. After last night’s wonderful service by the city’s friendliest FoH crew, now I get a set of people who don’t care, and have really turned what could have been a salvageable night into one that I will remember for all the wrong reasons.

They took the pasta off the bill, as they should, because it was a joke. But with the bad food that took forever to come out, throw in the dismissive attitude of some of the staff, it sucked. I can’t believe people rave about this place. Maybe it was a bad night, but frankly I’m too tired to deal with bad nights anymore.

Avoid.

DiAnoia’s Eatery
2549 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

A Shitshow Full of Diacritical Marks – Review: ū·lë·lē

5 March 2024

I was headed to Orlando for a work event. Not my favourite place to go, but also an opportunity to catch up with an old friend not too far away in Tampa. Sadly she was called into work to cover a shift, but that means it was lucky planning that I rolled into the Tampa area early enough to chill a little. But that also meant I was running solo for dinner, so I decided to check out a place called ū·lë·lē that good write-ups.

I got there from my rather distant h(m)otel on Rocky Point and for a Tuesday night it was absolutely rammed. Goodness. I sat at the bar as they said my table (despite having a reservation) will not be ready for awhile. That was an early sign of the mess I was about to witness.

Bar was crazy busy, yet there was just one single bartender who was doing his best octopus impression, and doing it well. This guy was unflappable, with tickets flying out of the machine and he just keeps shaking two drinks at a time while waiting for beers to pour. One of the servers eventually walked by and took my drink order, and it came out surprisingly fast. Maybe they have a system here.

Nope. After this, everything went to a crawl. Took awhile for my food to show up, and it was impossible to get anyone’s attention. Eventually I got it, and ordered a cocktail and glass of wine. My server did not seem surprised by my order, which says plenty. Another sign of the mess I was starting to witness.

The alligator bites were okay, but needed the dip. I miss eating ones that have a stronger taste. But it did its job. My server zipped by so I quickly ordered more food and drink. By this time, the poor bartender had not stopped for a second. But then I noticed there was one other bartender/server who was standing around chatting with one of the customers on the other side of the bar for almost the entire time I was here, doing nothing else. Really?

Although it was ordered as a side, my okra “fries” came out first. I snacked on them, quite nice. And eventually my pompano showed up.

Quite good, in a sauce with crawfish tails over wild rice. I’m glad I had the okra because the fried carrot “ribbons” were inedible. But overall it was good.

However, by this time, I could not get anyone’s attention. My server had disappeared. The crazy-overworked bartender saw me and we had a quick chat. I expressed my appreciation for his energy and prowess, which he appreciated. But by this time I was done, this was stupid. I thought about a dessert and/or after-dinner drink, but after 15 minutes I gave up and just asked for the bill once my server zipped by again.

The idiot who stood around ALL NIGHT doing nothing then walked by and casually asked if there’s anything I needed. What fucking gall. Ridiculous. At that point I just wanted to pay and get out. The overworked “octopus” bartender, who was the star of the FoH, slipped a free drink to me and gave me the “I so get your frustration” look.

I drank it. I signed my bill. I gave that bartender a separate tip. He earned it. The others did not, not even close.

Sorry, but if there was a definition of a shitshow, this comes close.

ū·lë·lē
1810 North Highland Avenue
Tampa, Florida

Review: Perception

20 January 2024

It’s been a fantastic Saturday in Paris, and despite being absolutely knackered from barely sleeping, I was running on positive energy. Lunch at Clamato was spectacular, and although I had to improvise my afternoon plans due to “ice-related closures” around the city, I made the most of it and it turned out absolutely excellent.

Now about dinner, tonight’s destination is Perception. This was actually the last place I booked as I planned this trip as I had several options for this Saturday evening. A few places just didn’t look right, and one (which I shall not name) gave me attitude when I informed them of a software fault in their online booking system. So F them. I was sufficiently intrigued by Perception so I went with it.

I got there at 7.30pm as the restaurant opened, with a few others waiting to get in. I was seated somewhat awkwardly right at the door, so literally everyone coming in all night had to stand literally next to me. I don’t mind the cool breeze from outside, but I can see others moaning about it.

I looked over the menu and decided on the 8-course tasting with pairing. And unfortunately that was it for almost a half hour. No amuse bouche. No pouring of anything. I had to finally ask them what the process was, and they said the wine pairings start with the first dish (not even the amuse) – yet they forgot to ask if I wanted an apertif or something.

So for the first half hour of the dining experience, I just sat there and had water. Sadly, this was the theme of the night, the ridiculous pace. Lucky I had unlimited data on my roaming phone…

Again, the amuse came out about half an hour into the evening. Not bad, the noodles being a nice touch with the broth but the mini pitchfork presented as an utensil made it a chore. The squashy dish was also nice, although the fish ensconsed in vegetable was on the bland side in this trio. Otherwise it was a good start.

Then I noticed that some people who sat down for only a few minutes are getting their amuse already? Shit, if you are not ready to open at the posted opening time, then don’t start your reservation time so early. With finally something else than water poured, we have the first item, sea bass.

Well, it’s under that glow-in-the-dark thing. Interesting, but a little underwhelming, the gelatin-ish thing not doing that much for the fish. More visual than tasty.

Next up is a dish focused on sunchokes, which is not one of my favourite things to eat in a tasting menu. I like the taste and aroma, but not what a larger serving does to my system. But this was pretty good, the creamy part rich and flavourful. So far not bad, but the pace has once again been an issue. It’s now over an hour into this dining experience, and it’s only 2 dishes in. I’m starting to worry how long this evening will run for…

Next up was the squid, which was a play on the Korean ojingeo sundae (stuffed squid). Pretty good, although the cutlery played havoc with eating this dish right, no thanks to the dull knife that made it hard to cut the squid without the stuffing being displaced.

One of my fellow food bloggers noticed that they did not change out the wine glasses between wines. I’m not too bothered by that as that’s becoming more common, but when you got a messy dish and they take sauce-covered utensils and drop it back on the table for re-use, that’s not good. It’s like saying co-mingling flavours from this dish into the next one is no biggie, which is a disappointing thing for a restaurant of this calibre – considering the next dish was a playful sea urchin bibimbap.

It was sadly underwhelming, as sea urchin has a complexity that is overwhelmed by the various elements that make up this dish, especially if the condiments were used – oh, and of course that squid sauce that carried over from the last dish. I mixed everything up but saved half of the urchin on the side fearing this was the case. At least I got that nice mouthful of urchin at the end. Probably the weakest dish of the night.

And the wait times between dishes get longer, as too over half an hour until the next dish (dish 5 of 8) arrived.

I love red mullet and it was quite good here. Cooked well, good sauce, a few unnecessary distractions. A good dish, but by now I was beyond knackered and getting seriously annoyed by the pace. I read a few reviews about this place and several reviewers mentioned that the dining experience took way too long. I should have paid more attention to those concerns because it took yet another half hour for the next dish to arrive.

This pigeon was absolutely fantastic. I loved it, one of the best I’ve ever had, but would have loved it more if we didn’t wait half an hour between each dish of this tasting menu. I’ve truly have lost interest in this meal. I think they sensed it as they did apologise for the wait.

What annoyed me even more is that now I see people are leaving already, having completed their meal – people who came in after me. The shorter tasting menu was 6 courses (as opposed to 8) but it can’t cause that much of a time difference, can it? My dinner dragged into its fourth hour when the dessert came.

Based on citrus, it was nice, but I was so done. I quickly ate this and asked for the bill. They were surprised as there was another dessert coming. I was so tired I didn’t notice. So they managed to bring it to me relatively quickly.

Chocolate with pomagranate. Good, but I was done. They also quickly dropped some closing items.

No coffee for me, and they processed my payment quickly. At least they didn’t return my card on a dirty food dish like last night at that disastrous Rooster…

I stepped out and walked to the Metro, wondering what happened. There were some excellent dishes (the pigeon especially spectacular), some that didn’t quite work (bibimbap), but the ridiculous pace was just annoying. The fact I had to rush them and this dinner still took 3.5 hours. Now I’ve had plenty of 3.5hrs+ tasting menus, but they didn’t force people to wait half an hour between dishes.

Sadly, that marred what could have been a very good night, because some of the cooking was excellent. Unless they figure out their gameplan a little better, from the very poor pacing to the sloppy service, there are far better options in Paris.

Two days in Paris. Two absolutely spectacular lunches. Two dinners that can be described as shitshows in different ways. I hope tomorrow, my last full day here, changes that.

Perception
53 Rue Blanche
Paris, France

Nearly Choked by Fishbone at a Restaurant Named Rooster…

19 January 2024

I was still on a high from that amazing lunch at Le Rigmarole. So far Paris has been quite good, although I’m worried that the weather – although it has stopped snowing – may disrupt my weekend plans. But for now, this first day has been quite good, and I’m optimistic about the rest of this extended weekend.

Dinner this evening was at Rooster, a place that goes under the radar from many visiting food people despite the pedigree of Chef Frédéric Duca. Boasting an extensive CV at eateries in France and the US, his 5-year-old restaurant doesn’t seem to get the blogging love (or hype) that other places get. Is that why I chose this for my first dinner?

I arrived and was promptly greeted by Chef Duca and several staff members, leading me to my counter seat where I had a good view of the kitchen. The excellent service pair provided top-notch care of its patrons from start to finish, which is something that I’ve not experienced much in Paris over my visits, so this was a huge plus.

I relaxed as the night’s food and wine began and after a sip of a bubbly, I reached into my starters – and the evening went completely pear-shaped.

Instead of getting some delicious mackerel as I thought I would, I got a mouthful of bone. No, not one or two pin bones, which is an occupational hazard of eating fish (especially mackerel), but the ENTIRE RACK of them. Who in the world would make this kind of mistake at a restaurant of this calibre? UGH!

And I’m not talking about those semi-edible pin bones. I ended up with a rack of ribs. Some went down my throat, some nicely got impaled throughout my mouth and gums.

I taste blood…

I honestly didn’t care about the fritters that also came out, frankly just used it to huck down my throat to help a few lodged bones pass… Come on, WTF was that? What a ridiculous start.

A this point, my expectations are beyond low. If it wasn’t for the two very good servers I may have considered walking out. They seemed utterly shocked when they saw the reminants of this mackerel starter and were very apologetic, as one walked straight to Chef Duca with the evidence.

Chef clearly got the message as he was keeping a weary eye on me for the rest of the evening. Even if he didn’t prep this, it’s his fault for letting it go without looking. The main job of any chef running a kitchen is quality control, and this was a massive fail. Yet, with jetlag now crushing me, I was willing to keep going.

Things looked up a little with this amberjack dish, which they said was a perennial favourite. The raw amberjack was good, although I was eating it very deliberately, not wanting more bone down my throat. I noticed Chef Duca was staring as I was taking my initial bites… The flavours, mixing elements of mustard, citrus, and carrot worked well with the fish. And I’m happy to report, no bones.

Next up was the veal tartare, so I (hopefully!) don’t need to worry about bone. I think there were too many distractions on this plate, such as the tarragon sabayon, which clashed with the veal. Even the bottarga didn’t quite work here. For a bottarga devotee like me to say that is not good. Everything non-veal on this dish fought against the natural goodness of the veal.

We move into the first main course with the sea bass. Nope, no bones, thank goodness, and it was quite good. Only the whelks were way overdone and staring to petrify, but the fish itself was very good. Nowhere near the quality of stuff I had at lunch at Le Rigmarole, but it did its job.

The last of the main courses is the lamb, and I have to say I was glad I stayed after the bone debacle, as this dish was fabulous. Chef’s talents finally shone when he let the main ingredient be the star. Absolutely lovely quality meat here, helped on by the delicious jus.

At this point I am absolutely puzzled on how a kitchen can deliver something so good like this lamb and crank out something that 99% of kitchens would be horrified to send out like that mackerel. Alas, that’s perhaps my Paris expectations coming back to earth after the lunch that turned out to be too good.

Being my first night back in Paris, I went with a cheese course, and that was much needed.

Delicious selection, one of the true joys of being in France is the variety and quality. I love variety in my cheeses, from geographic to biological to process.

A pre-dessert before we have the final dessert focusing on the pear.

Not bad, especially as a pear fan, but I think the cheese won the evening here after the lamb. Well, that’s that, time to head out.

Unfortunately at this point the sommelier did something that is just really, really unprofessional. He actually returned my credit card, after scanning it, right into a plate that had just held food. Really? Maybe it was just crumbs, but still that is so not proper. Seriously, what’s next, return the card in an empty glass of wine?

And not a word from Chef Duca about the debacle. He can’t pretend to hide behind any language barrier, having spent several years of his life cooking in NYC. So this last bit of comedy and him hiding from his kitchen’s mistake tells me plenty.

Oh, we went from perfect execution at lunch to this mess in a matter of a few hours. If it wasn’t for that lamb and my two fabulous servers, this evening would have sucked at a level not seen for a long time. Un désastre total…

Yep, back down to earth. Merde…

Rooster
137 Rue Cardinet
Paris, France

An Excruciating Sushi Experience (Review: Sado)

12 November 2023

I made a quick visit to St Louis as there was a few things I wanted to do this weekend, including catching a non-staged performance of Cavalleria Rusticana. But really, it was a cheap Southwest flight that did it, a rarity these days since they jacked up all their prices earlier this year.

As much as I was busy all day Saturday, I was looking forward to an early, pre-concert dinner at Sado. This is the new project from Nick Bognar, who created an excellent dinner for me during my last visit at his popular eatery, Indo.

I got back to St Louis mid-afternoon and quickly checked into my hotel and got my bearings before heading out for an early seating. I got there and a line built up, but quickly I was led to a corner at the sushi bar. This should be good.

A cocktail in hand and I poured though the menu. Goodness, they have nodoguro! I was nearly in tears from the nodoguro at Aji just a few weeks ago, so I’m definitely doing that. In fact, I’m just gonna do all nigiri tonight. So I ordered and finished my cocktail.

Took a little to get my server’s attention to get some sake, but it soon arrived, and we begin with the aforementioned nodoguro.

It’s been a long time since my heart sank so drastically so quickly… What did they do to this fish? Why so much adulteration, with an incongruent spicy? This didn’t work at all, and it really saddened me. I don’t think I’ve had nodoguro that made my frown before in my entire life. I was almost in tears for the wrong reason here…

Maybe it’s an anomaly, they just overthought the adulteration for a seasonal fish. Let’s hope that’s the case. At this point they comped me itoyoridai.

It’s okay, but nothing special. Again, it’s overwhelmed by all the noise on top of this fish, far more intense and intrusive than most modern omakase places. What’s wrong with complementing the fish instead of fighting it? It’s like how modern chefs drive me crazy, they think they know better than mother nature on taste. Instead of bringing the fish out, they just overwhelmed it with other stuff – ostensibly to show that they are doing something?

That was confirmed with the saba. So much unnecessary work on this, plus the texture was ruined by the misplaced sesame seeds. I could barely taste the richness of the mackerel here. Are they hiding bad ingredients? I don’t think so. But why all this? And it’s not like Aji and other top modern omakase places around the country, this is wholesale “let’s change the taste profile of the fish” adulterations.

Two more minuses. The rice is barely keeping together, and there’s some poor knife work here, especially on the back side of this (thankfully not shown).

They comped me a bowl of brussels sprouts, and I had to admit this was quite good. And I sighed, as this turned out to be the best part of the dinner.

A rather meh unagi was next, and I was just waiting to finish this dinner and get out of here. Plus service has collapsed, so I was nursing my sake knowing it’ll be impossible to get another drink (or even my server’s attention) before I am done here. And the next item made the evening even worse…

This was just poor knife skills. The otoro was nearly shredded, and it fell apart in my hand. Oh, did I mention the rice was poor, and it was barely intact all night? This shows you how poorly this beautiful fish was cut.

This piece literally fell off the fish. So ridiculously bad this evening, I almost forgot I had one more item, uni.

I won’t even comment, I’m done.

Took ages to get my server’s attention to get the bill. And it comes. And it’s more expensive than that excellent omakase at Aji. In fact, 10 pieces of sushi here, and some sake, cost more than any omakase I’ve been to in years, including in more expensive cities. And 10 pieces of questionable stuff, from bad rice to terrible cutting to just ridiculous adulteration. And they already tack on a mandatory 20% service charge…for absentee service? Friendly, nice, but when you cannot get service, nice just doesn’t deserve 20% on an over-the-top expensive dinner for terrible quality.

Oh, I’ve not had such a bad dining experience for a long time. I think I need to avoid St Louis again…

Sado
5201 Shaw Avenue
St Louis, Missouri

* It’s a shame, since Cavalleria Rusticana turned out so good this evening. What a damn shame…

When a Shitty Day Ends Shitty (Review #3: El Che Steakhouse)

30 October 2023

Since I started at my current job I don’t think I’ve had as stupid of a day as today. Needless to say, I needed to unwind. Luckily I had booked a place at El Che Steakhouse a week earlier, anticipating the unnecessary workplace drama. It’s amazing how you break your back helping a client and they go ballistic over something trivial that happened due to their own inability to anticipate problems.

Nevertheless, I myself faced a problem I didn’t anticipate, but let’s go back to how I got there. I got to El Che and seeing the bar rather full with no comfortable slots, I opted for a table. I know table service is less good for a lone diner, but knowing the quality of the food, I was happy with it. A pisco sour in hand, I ordered and relaxed.

My first visit here was such a wonderful discovery, as they did a wonderful version of one of my favourite things to eat, tira de asado. My second visit was less good but still good, but did make me think a little if the quality was sliding a little.

After awhile I switched to wine anticipating my food’s arrival. And I was certainly happy when this landed on my table.

My smile remained after a taste of the chorizo, which was delicious. However, when I cut into the morcilla, I was surprised – not in a good way. It’s like they changed their recipe or source, and this was just boring – both in taste and texture. That was a big disappointment.

The side of broccolini was nearly inedible. It was mostly fibrous stalks, and barely cooked. Wow, what is happening to this place, a victim of their own success? The tira de asado was good, but also nowhere as good as usual. The portion is noticeably smaller, sliced up.

I grew increasingly disappointed with the food, as the morcilla was just not good and I barely finished it. And I could not get another glass of wine as my server was busy and there were two other servers just loitering near me but chose not to react until I literally was flailing my arms like a certain robot on Lost In Space. This is just a FoH training issue, as my overworked server did good. It’s the other jokers standing around that’s doing a crappy job.

With the skimpier portion of tira de asado, compounded by the inedible broccolini, I was done. I could have ordered another set of tira de asado, but I was tired of this place this evening. Sadly, another “safe” place that I thought was an oasis for me on bad nights showed it was no longer one I can rely on.

Whether I come back to this place again I don’t know. Very disappointed, a shitty end to a very shitty day.

Recommendation withdrawn.

El Che Steakhouse
845 West Washington Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois

Review #4 (and Final One): Bocca di Lupo

12 October 2023

It’s my final meal in Europe, and once again I end up at Bocca di Lupo. The last time I was here in 2019 – the last time I was in Europe before the pandemic, literally my last meal in Europe until this year – I had an awful time, like the restaurant didn’t care anymore. A far cry from a better visit in 2016, when it was better, but the trend had been going downward almost every visit.

I think the only stellar review I wrote was during my 10th visit (and my first review). Yet, despite all that, I decided to give it another go.

One thing you always expect at Bocca di Lupo is that it’s a shitshow. It’s crazy busy, the counter is packed to the brim and it’s uncomfortable to eat – especially solo, doing different plates. Why do I keep coming back? It’s a puzzle.

I arrived during a very wet evening at about 8pm, hopefully missing the theatre crowd. It was just starting to turnover, and had to wait a little but got a counter space. They kept the spot next to me open, which sounded great, but I was sandwiched next to the service area and it’s always extremely crazy there. At least I have room for more than 1 dish tonight, physically…

It took awhile to get service, as the norm here, but I got a cocktail and looked over the ever-changing menu. I ordered a few things and decided on a bottle of Lagrein from Alto Adige, one of my favourite wines. I relaxed and lucky I got the wine, as I was drinking a bit with how long the starters took. A good 20 minutes, but that’s normal for this insanely overcrowded place.

Remember how I said Kiln was busy, but never uncomfortably busy? Well, Bocca di Lupo is always uncomfortably busy.

The baccalà was okay, but they forgot to season it. Sitting at the counter watching the overworked kitchen crew, with a manager barking at them rather rudely, tells me this is normal. And the sage leaf with anchovy was not bad, although unseasoned – except for one edge that tasted like it was fried in a salt crust…

They brought out only one stuffed olive, and I had to wait another 10 minutes for the other… The second one was far better, and seasoned too. Sigh…maybe I should have gone somewhere else.

I sipped my wine and the place was slowing down a little, and a total shock: I actually see a few empty seats on the counter! All of my trips, since the first few weeks this place opened many moons ago, I’ve never seen empty seats. But the orders kept going and the barking at the kitchen line continued. It’s a little annoying when the orders come with unnecessary attitude, especially from the service manager and not the sous of the day…

This tripe was pretty good, so I was starting to feel a little relieved. This is a dish you really cannot mess up for how long they’ve done it. But now we have another long gap, as it took another 20 minutes before the buristo came out. And I can see when they make it, because the grill station is right in front of me.

Sadly very boring buristo, cooked unevenly and again seasoned badly. I should have called it a day, but I had wine left, and I saw how good some of the meats are doing tonight, being in front of the grill. I was going to do the fish but they cut the best parts (head) off, so I went with the pork chop.

Took a little while, but it was worth it. A solid dish that’s for sure, a little excessive as I had to take some of it with me afterwards, but finally a dish that was cooked right and seasoned right.

Some caponata made it all go down better. This is why I am always puzzled. They would disappoint me to the point of almost walking out, then come up with a winner. So let’s just close this account after 15 years…

For that, I had my usual grappa and some sorbetti – something they cannot mess up with a gelateria next door.

Coconut and bitter chocolate, so that was excellent. But the post-theatre crowd has come in and the shitshow was beginning again, and a few times the service manager was being so rude the line cooks stopped and stared at each other. I hear the service staff grumbling too.

I headed out now knowing I will not come back again. I think the model of business here is poor, no matter if the food was good or what. This is a factory, and the toll it takes on staff is ridiculous. I’ve seen enough kitchens and restaurants in my life to see that this place is made to just pile people in, stuff them uncomfortably, and ring up the bills. And the staff suffers from the grind. It’s one thing when it’s super busy, but this place is designed to be a daily marathon at sprinting speed because the kitchen is too small for its purpose. The counter is also packed too dense to be comfortable. All to make a few extra quid.

This is probably my 20th dining experience here at Bocca di Lupo over its 15 year run, and it’s time to let it go.

Bocca di Lupo
12 Archer Street
London, England

PS: And of course I got utterly drenched going back to my hotel…

PPS: Surprised by the excellent pan-fried mackerel at the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse at Deathrow…I mean Heathrow…before flying back over the Atlantic the next day…

A “WTF Happened to This Place” Roadtrip Part 3 – Review: Ludivine

1 October 2019

I woke up just before sunrise like every day of this roadtrip and was ready to go. Today’s the last of the driving as I head back to Oklahoma City. I headed north-east and made a few necessary stops before I got back to OKC and returned my car. Goodness, I somehow put on 3037 miles (4860km) in the last 9 days…

After all that, I luckily had a relaxing afternoon in OKC just lounging around my hotel room, relaxing with my guilty pleasure — an ultimate cheeseburger from Jack In The Box… Really, I’d rather have one of those than a Michelin-starred meal — the true definition of a guilty pleasure.

But I was also looking forward to dinner tonight at Ludivine. Last time I ate there I had a very nice dinner, albeit interrupted by a tornado warning and evacuation to the shelter (which was why I chose not to write a review at the time). I’m hoping for as good of a dinner tonight, but with less weather-related drama!

I took a Lyft to Ludivine and it was rather quiet this Tuesday evening. I relaxed at the counter and looked over the menu over a drink. I decided to go with the tasting menu as it was all off-menu stuff, and I like places that make an effort for their tasting menus. I had a good tasting menu last time, so I have some confidence it’ll be solid. However, I noticed that the number of courses had dropped (from 5 to 4) and the price has gone up (especially the wine). Well, it can’t be easy to run a fine-dining place in OKC I guess…

After a little bit, things started. I guess no amuse tonight, as the first dish arrived…

Salmon tartar, lightly cured, not bad. A solid start. I was a little surprised that my server, when pouring my wine (which was paired), did not know where my wine was from and had to go look. But overall it worked, a good start. Then the second dish appeared, and it all started to go downhill…

This rabbit dish was a mess, sadly. The mushroom risotto was a mush, cooked rather unevenly. Some of it was way overcooked, some of it was hard. And the rabbit loin? It was cold. I asked if it was supposed to be cold, and they admitted no. Oops. And that was paired with a very skimpy pour of garnacha…

I noticed that as they got busier, my server seems to be running back and forth from the other room for the wines. The host, who should have been doubling as a runner (since he’s doing nothing), seems to be purposely ignoring the customers. I tried to get his attention a few times but he just kept staring out the door. Even when the kitchen was asking for dishes to be served, he only moved when he was cajoled to do so. And you can tell he knows how to do it, as he managed to give the dish description — including my third dish, the venison.

I have to say the venison was decently good, I’m sure the kitchen took far more care on the temperature after my previous issue. But the problem was no wine, and that came later. Another very skimpy pour. If you are gonna charge as much as full-pours of wines-by-the-glass for 4 dishes, why then scam people with this pairing when the server don’t even know what wine it is? This is just piss-poor FoH stuff, borderline scammy. What’s with Oklahoma places and FoH scams? Is it the casino culture? Sigh…

By this point I didn’t even enjoy that venison as much as I should have. Oh well. And we’re done. This isn’t really even a tasting menu, more like a set menu with an inflated price. Should have done everything ala carte — especially the drinks. They were okay about substituting the pairing for a scotch for the dessert, so that’s good of them.

The chocolate torchon was pretty good, and I enjoyed this close. But as I was planning to get some coffee and another after-dinner drink (the scotch pour was, as expected, skimpy), my server was nowhere to be found and the host had reverted into his zombie mood and ignoring my calls and waves for his attention. He was 5 steps away, I was sitting at the edge of the counter closest to the host stand.

At this point I just gave up. No reason to waste any more money at a place that doesn’t appreciate the custom. The kitchen was already mediocre, but tonight’s fail was very much a FoH one that made it just unpleasant. One of those textbook nights where dinner could have been passably good, but pushed down into disappointing by a poor FoH.

It’s sad when the 2 best things I had in Oklahoma is BBQ in Durant and a Jack In the Box cheeseburger instead of these pricey upscale restaurants that don’t understand some FoH basics. I guess when there’s a dearth of choices it’s easier to not improve. But again, what’s happened to this place compared to a few years ago…sigh…

I head home tomorrow on a morning flight in total disappointment…

Ludivine
320 NW 10th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahooma

A “WTF Happened to This Place” Roadtrip Part 1 – Review #2: Juniper

23 September 2019

I flew to Oklahoma City to begin what could be the last big roadtrip for a long time. First stop, Tulsa. I’ve not been back in Oklahoma’s second city since 2015, when I had a surprisingly good dinner at Juniper. As I had to pass through the area anyway, I decided to make Tulsa my first overnight stop.

I arrived at Juniper on a quiet Monday evening and was led to my table. A friendly server brought over my menus and soon my cocktail, a rather delicious and refreshing tipple with a touch of spice that made it even more enjoyable. Then a wee amuse…

A nice little nibble with goat cheese and poppy seeds. A good preview for what would be my opening course, the beet and goat cheese salad…

Huh? This is it? I had to ask where the goat cheese was, and was told by the same server that it was the “smear” below everything. Huh? This is absolutely mis-labelling and mis-selling. Frankly there was more goat cheese on the amuse than this dish! Ridiculous. And to make it even worse? The arugula quality was dreadful, worse than even supermarket stuff. Ugh… Abandoned…

I was now worried about my second as the pork loin special was very much upsold by my server, who said it was the best thing on the menu — and talked me out of the duck, which was so good last time I was here. I got more worried when an adjacent table asked her for recommendations and she listed 3 things and AVOIDED the thing she recommended me. WTF.

And now I understand. This was a brick. Overcooked, poor cut. Half of it was dried out, overcooked; the other parts that were cooked to a better temperature had no flavour. The rest of it was a mess. As a big fan of okra, these were extremely sad.

The FoH manager offered to take the salad off but I said no, as I had eaten it. And of course they had not taken the initiative to take a glass of wine off or something else, they just shrugged it off. I settled up and got the heck out of there.

Sadly, another of the “what the fuck has happened to this place” stories I’m having all over the country. Is it just staffing issues everywhere? The kitchen produced a stinker this evening, but the FoH was guilty of some pretty annoying practices that turns me off even more from eating out.

All my previous recommendations of this place is vehemently withdrawn at this point. Just avoid this mess.

Juniper
324 East 3rd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma

WTF Happened to This Place… (Review #2: Yono’s)

1 August 2019

I headed out of my old hometown of Ithaca early in the morning, thinking back fondly over the dinner at The Heights the previous night but not at the dodgy motel I stayed in…my neck was killing me… I pushed north, slowed by some truck traffic, before I rolled into Oswego. What was supposed to be a half-hour stop turned into nearly 4 hours as I ended up playing pseudo-therapist to an exaspirated cemetery sexton…yeah, only Mel could be in such situations…

I was running late as I headed out east. I had to make a quick stop in Cooperstown, not to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame (where I’ve been back when baseball made sense in the early 1990s when I was still living in Ithaca) before I headed towards Albany. I managed a bit of a hike at the rather nicely unkempt (and perhaps aptly-named) Albany Rural Cemetery, chugging through waist-high grass in the hot sun for about 90 minutes before I had to run to prevent being locked behind the closing gates…

I was knackered, and hungry as I didn’t eat due to that unplanned lengthy pause in Oswego. I returned to the excellent Hampton Inn Downtown in Albany, perhaps one of the best properties in the chain’s portfolio. The main reason for staying there is my dinner destination is downstairs — Yono’s. I had a pretty good dinner last time I was here 5 years ago, and I purposely ensured one of my stops on this trip is Albany so I can enjoy the fine foods here again.

As I was planning this trip very hastily (it was done in 36 hours), I did notice that on the Instagram feed for Yono’s they kept mentioning they were looking for kitchen staff — including a sous chef. That doesn’t bode well, as perhaps the well-known restaurant was having as much problems as so many others around the country in the inability to find/retain kitchen staff. I hope that doesn’t affect the output.

When I arrived at 8pm or so the place was…nearly abandoned. That was very worrisome. I know it’s on the late site and the state legislature is out of session, but still… There was only 1 other table occupied, and they were on the tail end of their meal. I was led to a banquette and I relaxed.

I looked over the menu and their grand tasting looked good, although perhaps a touch dated. I went with it and the pairing, as I was hungry and didn’t want to think. They mentioned the amuse may take a little while, but I was okay with it.

Well, that didn’t take as long as they said, as it’s already here…

Tempura asparagus. Not bad, a tad salty, but not bad. Then the sommelier poured a glass of Spanish bubbly before the first proper course arrived. When it did, I blinked a few times…

This was supposed to be scallops…I guess the mangled mess beneath the radish is it. Rather skimpy, and when you slice it so thin you lose the sweetness factor. Really poor way of serving scallops to be frank. The caviar did nothing for this dish, as all it did was clash with the already-limited sweetness of the scallops. Sorry, but a very poorly-designed dish. Plus the entire dish had a weird aroma about it…

That continued when the second wine was poured, a Riesling from Mosel. I noticed a very chlorinated odour from the glass…and that tells me a lot about not about the dishwashing crew, but about the service crew to not notice something like that. Then the second dish, octopus…

Not bad, worked well with the curry glaze. But half the dish was potatoes, and they were not cooked well. If I wasn’t so hungry I’d not touch those potatoes. So far I’m not impressed, and it’s definitely not of the same quality as during my last visit 5 years ago. A Grüner Veltliner is poured and we have the asparagus soup.

This is again very meh, borderline poor. It’s about a step up from a tin bought at the supermarket. Salty, lukewarm. It’s like the kitchen did not want to admit it was not ready to do this tasting menu and failing to execute to even a respectable degree. Oh, this dinner could be a major mistake…

Then we have some local foie. This was always one of their money dishes here, but today it was a disaster. The top side was not not just charred but burnt to a crisp. What was supposed to be rhubarb compote was obviously hastily prepped, as it was a liquidy mess. What a disastrous dish…

I’ve been rather diplomatic to my server when I’ve made negative comments after each dish, adding that I’m giving them constructive criticism. He can’t openly say it, but I suspect the kitchen staff that remained today are not very equipped to execute this menu. I know there’s a staff shortage, but when you feel the need to trick a customer into a menu they cannot execute instead of admitting that and asking me to do ala carte (or use the always-easy “it’s too late in the evening for the full tasting menu” excuse). If this place was not empty I would have abandoned this dinner already…

Next up was the “suckling pig” and this is a complete misrepresentation of that dish. This is a pork confit. If you want to serve something, use the correct description. When you say “suckling pig” you usually conjure up the picture of lechon or something. This is just pulled pork fried up. It was oily, greasy, and burnt solid to a point of it being not edible. I dug out the edible meat from the centre and abandoned the sides. By the way my server looked he knew what I was thinking, though he told me this was one of their most popular dishes. I’m sorry, not if prepped like this, even if you like pork confit. Unless you like drinking grease.

This has moved from poor to awful, and if it wasn’t for the very generous pours of wine I would have left. Since my room was upstairs there’s no different bar to run to if I abandon the meal, so I carried on…

The next dish was a lamb ribeye. Again, overcooked. If you got good quality lamb, like this certainly was, why do you cook it beyond medium? And worse, the sprouts are burnt. This kitchen is either totally careless or utterly incompetent, not sure which is worse for me at this current assessment as both mean a bad dinner. But thank goodness the cooked savoury items are done.

The cheese course is a saviour, since frankly it’s damn hard for the kitchen to fuck this up. A selection of cheese from nearby Kinderhook (best known as the home town and gravesite of President Martin Van Buren). The honey collected from the hotel rooftop was a nice touch. This was the best item of the dinner BY FAR, and that’s a damning indictment of this kitchen.

I was so sick of this evening, I just wanted my donut holes and get the hell out of here…but nope! They changed the menu (it’s August 1st) and forgot to re-print the menu…it’s actually a pavlova.

Oh I so hate pavlova…I barely touched this mess. It’s a sugary hell, which was mostly abandoned. What a crap ending to a crap evening, one of the worst tasting menus I’ve had in years. If it wasn’t for the relatively good service and generous wine pours, I would have walked out in a heartbeat. This kitchen is ridiculously awful, with nearly every dish poorly executed. That takes a lot of doing, and frankly Chef Yono should be ashamed his name is connected with these terrible dishes.

And you wonder why there was only 1 other table (which was finishing) when I came in. The entire restaurant was empty, perhaps for good reason. My server actually told me they took 20% off the bill. I reckon they realised how shitty the kitchen performed, and this was a way to make amends. Fine, good for them to do this, but frankly they will not entice me back with the gesture.

WTF happened to this place? This kitchen is a clusterfuck, and I don’t care if you are short-staffed — if you cannot execute, then DON’T. Drop the tasting menu until you get enough competent staff. Or shit, Chef Yono should work the line — like other restaurants that have a staff shortage. If you can’t do it, then don’t offer it — and thus destroy the fine reputation you earned over the years.

If there ever was a symbol of a restaurant past its prime and taking advantage of its past reputation, this is it. What a awful evening. Thank goodness the FoH due tried to save the evening, or else it would have gone down as one of the 5 worst nights of fine dining I’ve ever had. Again, WTF happened to this place?

Just avoid this place. Shit, go to Applebee’s instead. It’s not any worse (it can’t be), and it won’t cost an arm and a leg (even with the 20% discount). What a joke.

Yono’s
25 Chapel Street
Albany, New York

PS: I got home 2 days later and the 3-part road-trip is over. Over the 12 days or so, I clocked over 3400 miles (~5500km) through 10 states… Geez, no wonder my back hurts, even with all the stops I made…