18 September 2015
Okay, be warned, this review is going to be different. You will need to rely on my words alone… I did take photos of this brilliant evening but it was uneven and unbalanced, and would skew this review too badly. So this will be a word-only review, so join me for a literary ride celebrating my 43rd birthday…
After last night’s excellent (if not wee pricey) dinner extravaganza at Park, I didn’t have much energy for a proper lunch. So I ran some errands, albeit a bit groggy from the sake, and grabbed a small snack — just to make sure I don’t show up at Joe Beef for my birthday dinner on a totally empty stomach. Joe Beef, the shrine to simple and honest cooking with fresh local ingredients, was where I chose to celebrate my birthday this year. To be honest, there’s not many better places. Over the years I’ve come to love the place, not just for the excellent cooking but for the wonderful people there. The staff there are some of the most wonderful people in the world, not to mention the proprietors.
Had a wonderful afternoon in town and I headed to Little Burgundy on the early side of this Friday evening — getting there soon after the restaurant opened. They set me up at the “throne” position, at the top of the raw bar counter. Many staffers came by to say hello, as it’s been awhile since I’ve been back in Montréal, but each of them taunting me with a “well I heard today is kind of a special day for you…”
Uh oh…
But I also found out this was a special day for Joe Beef, as it was their 10th anniversary! Unfortunately the big man himself, David McMillan, was not in tonight as he was celebrating his own little bundy of joy (!!!!), but Fred Morin and the crew took great care of me all night — far more than I ever imagined and expected.
As usual, I let them handle everything, from food to drink. They know I eat and drink everything and anything, so I left my fate entirely up to them all night — for the next 9 hours… Yes, 9, hours. Soon the sparkly flew and the opener — a selection of oysters. They were excellent, creamy and delicate, not wimpy but not overwhelming. Fabulous stuff to start.
The raw bar was still at it as the next dish were three sea urchins. These Canadian beauties were creamy and briny, full of complexity. Lovely stuff, one of my favourite things to eat. We were on some nice white wines at this point, all pours ridiculously generous…
The kitchen got to work and my next dish was interesting — a plate of pink. A generous plate of house-cured ham, I believe all done on the premises. Sublime and restrained, it worked well with the wine — and honestly, was very useful in helping to line my stomach for the heavy amount of alcohol flowing! It’s not the very smokey or heavy ham that you’d associate with Benton’s or something, but a subtle, relaxed one that you can snack on all day.
Things accelerated soon with a large portion of horse tartar. I know lots of people don’t like the idea of eating horse, but it’s a tasty, lean meat — and I have it as much as I can in Montréal. This was a tasty bit of tartar, and it was heavy as it was a rather generous portion. In fact, the portions may mean the death of me as I see they are enjoying challenging me this evening again!
Took a bit of a break with more excellent wine — it just kept flowing — and the conversations were also lively and engaging. Was good to chat with fellow diners, both first-timers and regulars, but even better was chatting with various members of the staff. I felt like a member of the family the way each of them treated me all night, from the raw bar team to the drinks team to the kitchen team. Every one of them took time to chat with me and wish me a happy birthday. It was so amazingly special…
The feast must continue, and the next dish was a cool one. I really, really wish I got a useful picture of this — a squid stuffed with pork. Oh, how fabulous, it held together very well, and the two complemented each other brilliantly. Easily the best dish of the night so far, creative and strong but distinct. Loving this! Though I must admit, unlike years ago when I had the bottomless appetite, my appetite isn’t what it used to be…
More wine, more conversation, then the next dish blew me away… It was a full trout. Looks simple, but the cool thing is that this came from their trout pond out back in the garden. How cool, not just the ham was all done on premises, but the trout was swimming back there earlier today too. It was a big ol’ fish and it took me over half an hour to eat it, slowly. Excellent stuff, didn’t mind the bones (got more bones in my mouth than usual as it was dark as Hades inside the restaurant by then). The flesh was solid and flavourful, no flakiness here — as it was just swimming hours earlier out back. Cooked perfectly, the freshness of the fish really stood out.
I admit I laboured through the last bits and on a good day (and a brighter restaurant) I would have cleaned off the fish much better. I forgot to eat the eyballs too — that’s how full I was getting. They warned me I had one more dish left, and they got a red wine, so I was wondering which of the meat dishes they would try to kill me with…
They knew I needed time so there was a lot more chat and wine. We’re talking about hour number 4 now for this dinner as we went past 10pm. Then the item came out, and I quietly cursed Fred and David… It was a gigantic bone-in ribeye! It was one of those sizes that I would usually order as the only dish of the night, especially not after so many full courses already! Oh I am gonna put on so, so much weight this trip!
I took the beef slowly and honestly I felt my steam was running out, so I only got through about half of it. Also, the mood of the night was changing as the place was thinning out a little, and the staff was starting to close things out. I asked them to pack it for me to take it home — for lunch tomorrow!
Then after a bit then flavour of the night changed even more. The clearing of things were ongoing, most of the place had emptied out, and we approached the midnight hour. Just before my birthday ended, a cute little birthday swirl for me…what a great way to mark the end of this amazing 24 hours!!! With calvados in hand, I happily moved on from this quiet celebration for me — to the celebration that was about to happen.
This was, as I mentioned, Joe Beef’s 10th anniversary, and the crew was ready to party a little. And it wasn’t crazy, but just a lot of tired but happy people drinking and taking lots of photos out back. I somehow got into the family photo… 🙂
But more calvados, poire williams, shots at times, and other heavy firewaters for the next few hours until the last of the crew were about to depart. And it was time for me to go too. Then it got really stupid… They gave me a T-shirt as a gift — after all the wonderful stuff they presented me tonight, all the wonderful attention. Each of them were so awesome to me, and now a T-shirt. Sounds small, but it’s a huge thing for me. And then they gave me a ludicrously low bill — one that wouldn’t even cover 2 dishes or half the drinks post midnight… They refused to increase it, so I tipped about as high as I could without getting my stupid bank to ding the transaction as fraud…
I said goodbye to all the wonderful crew that were still there. They were family for me this one night, and made this one evening one of the best birthday celebrations I have ever had in my 43 years. This memory I will treasure for the rest of my life.
As I rode back to the hotel on a taxi, my fear is that the hangover will haunt me for the rest of my life. But damn, it would be worth it — this was how damn good it was tonight…
It’s good to be alive.
Joe Beef
2491 Rue Notre-Dame Ouest
Montréal, Québec